“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This nugget of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s simply an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, curiously, it’s also pretty solid existential counsel. Seriously, hear me out.
When situations deteriorate, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. In fact, the majority of the fang-bearing creatures that populate Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating the mundane and pure pandemonium. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that echoes the loudest.
Of course, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. In my youth, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and boasting growling monsters on its tattered front. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay embedding themselves inside my small, malleable brain. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s original typically gets all the praise, thanks primarily due to its reputation as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its successor rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. With repetition, it became deeply rooted in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they gave no indication of concern.
As I got older, new understandings rewarded frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching small emerald creatures gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp has more heart than his genuine article inspiration.
The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was inspired by a actual “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins hijack the actual feature in progress. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each providing a grinning portion of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy prior to the concept being mainstream.
While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. In time, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This cartoonish insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only made me love it even more.
When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family earlier this year, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it provided was necessary to dilute my mind’s mourning mire – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just are powerless over. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.
It’s powerful existential guidance from a most improbable origin – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my feelgood film.
Elena Hartwell is a multidisciplinary artist and educator passionate about fostering creative communities in London.